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Rather than pulling over and having an honest discussion, the guy tosses you out of the car and speeds off. YOU DROVE ME HERE, ASSH*LE.”Then you feel sh*tty about yourself and are confronted with the dilemma of what to do when (not if, but when) he slowly turns around to see if you're still waiting there.Not to be confused with the pull-out, the pull-back can be subtle, which is why I like to call it, “The Assh*le Dial.”Basically, it's the first time someone does something slightly flaky, like canceling plans last minute or “forgetting” to answer text messages.When things move too quickly, it's like getting into a car and stepping on the accelerator.All of a sudden, both of you are like, whoa, this is clearly not a sustainable speed.If I have sex with someone to whom I have absolutely no emotional connection, I'm kind of just phoning it in. I'd honestly just rather watch Netflix by myself than fake an orgasm with some random guy from Tinder.
Now, the only flakes I want inside of me are in the form of cereal. When someone is being hot and cold with you, it is a sign to either call him or her out on the bullsh*t, walk away or realize it is a pattern that will not change, so you should lower your expectations. What matters is you are wasting your time by trying to figure it out.We think it makes us weak or that feelings lead to a loss of our freedom or independence.Casual sex can be respectful, but it requires honesty, communication and the strength to walk away when you realize someone is unwilling to give you what you want.Any time someone wanted more of a commitment from me, I freaked out.For the last few years, every guy I dated gave some sort of disclaimer up top about, “Just getting out of a relationship,” or, “Not looking for anything serious,” or “really just focusing on his career.”I would ignore this giant red flag and then berate myself for doing something to drive him away when subconsciously, I chose him because I knew he would eventually do that.