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Dating is the same—we've reached critical mass, and that critical mass is critical on getting their mass touched. Anyway, with the act of dating living solely on a mobile platform, the dating app reigns supreme. Hey, gotta quench that thirst somehow—what's that famous Mother Teresa quote?

Oh yes: "Get it girl, get it get it get it, girl." A dating app that allows people to meet based on their intellectual capacities rather than their looks! But, you know what happens when two smart people meet?

They engage in hot, sweaty, intellectual conversations about Proust.

Do you know where Marcel friggin' Proust is Some people stick to their guns when they say they don't care about looks—and bless their hearts.

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It's a no-nonsense approach to dating apps with its "I'm here to f*ck" mentality," but when you see that most of the users may/may not (but definitely are) legit prostitutes, the fun is lost.

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However, you will be getting LAID EVERY SINGLE NIGHT (of the first Monday of the month when it's convenient) when you're married. Like Beanie Babies were supposed to do in the 21st century, Hot or Not made a legit comeback with its app. In the spirit of love, harmony, and unbridled passion, 3nder brings people together for the sole purpose of participating in a threesome. Burns is told that he has literally every disease in the world, but they've all balanced themselves out within his body and are keeping him alive. At first, yes—now people Tinder at work, in meetings, maybe during lunch, and DEFINITELY during Bar Mitzvahs.

What's especially satisfying is the taboo-free interface that, frankly, allows you to get as taboo as you want. Let it be known that Luxy only ranks high in this list because hundred-dollar bills are a straight-up aphrodisiac in America. I mean, you've got to know that people are down to clown if you match on 3nder—no one's on this app in hopes of finding a meaningful relationship with two dudes named Brad. Grouper has taken every part of a bad date and stuck them together until a good date is formed: rich tech kids, strangers, bad wingmen, and micromanagement. So when four aroused like-minded individuals are in an enclosed environment under the guise of bragging about their startup until someone's pants come off...well, that leads to a new sexual move called "The Steve Hand Job." Tinder is about as 21st century as it gets. Tinder has become tricky in the sense that some people have caught on and realized there are decent human being on this app...however, if you swipe right on a Saturday at 2 a.m., you're not going to wake up alone—OR ALIVE. When you have a successful business and a whittled-down user population, you're going to have one successful hookup app.

Ok Cupid became less of a hookup app and more of a—ew—relationship app.

Ok Cupid is no longer for one-night stands, thus the chance of instant sex is rare.

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